This Week's RED HOT Celebrity Birthday (2/1 - 2/7)

This Week's RED HOT Celebrity Birthday (2/1 - 2/7)
Eddie Bracken, best known for his role as Walley World owner Roy Walley in NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION would be celebrating his 95th birthday on February 7th were it not for his death in 2002. The Montclair, NJ resident and star of radio, screen and stage, Bracken died several months after his wife/actress, Connie, passed away. if you make it to Heaven, be sure to check out Eddie and wife Connie in the highly entertaining BACK IN BRACKEN, a true favorite with the elderly deceased.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Man Frustrated After Halloween Costume Backfires; Vows to be Vindicated

Last Halloween when Keith Landers attended a co-worker's rooftop party on the outskirts of Seattle, his costume didn't go as planned. This year, however, this determined Starbucks shift manager plans on making his younger co-workers eat crow.

"I couldn't believe they didn't know who I was," recalled Landers. "It was sad. Only one person knew who Richard Simmons even is!"

* Landers (pictured above), hours before a 2009 Halloween party where he was confused for everything from Ronald McDonald to "that woman on Three's Company" (both pictured below).

The 31-year-old Landers, who went so far as to jog around the party for minutes on end, yelling lines like "Ohhhhhkay ladies, time to Sweat into the Oldies!" and "Stay away from those nachos. They're not on your Deal-A-Meal!" couldn't drop enough hints to the crowd, a collection of teenagers and early twentysomethingers who remained clueless.

"We just thought like he had too many macchiatos," said Becky Jorgensen, one of Landers' baristas. "He kept poking me. It was really annoying."

After numerous sets of jumping jacks and squat thrusts around the partygoers were met to no avail, the failed Richard Simmons exited the party dejected, not even waiting to see the party's winning costume worn by Ben Meyers, an employee recently-hired by Landers.

* Meyers, whose Price-Is-Right costume took the party's 20-dollar prize.
Having put last year's events behind him, Landers promises to wow everyone at his co-worker's annual Halloween party in 2010: "I figure I'll make it a little more current, so I chose Tony Little."

ADORABLE GARY COLEMAN PIC OF THE WEEK (10/5/09 - 10/11/09)

Sure, they ain't the world's best looking gals--especially the one on Gary's left with the prominent pelvic bones--but Gary Coleman seems to be in "booby heaven" with those signature cheeks flanked by traffic on Mammary Lane. It's a good thing Gary grew a little! A little shorter and he'd be sandwiched by STDs.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

THIS WEEK'S SEPARATED AT BIRTH (10/5/09 - 10/11/09)

For those of you who remember well the '80s, Libyan leader Col. Muammar el-Qadaffi, better know by just his surname, made it into American headlines as President Reagan's "mad dog of the Middle East." But since then what the hell has happened to this once-hot leader?
In keeping with the '80s (and you devotees of this decade), Mr. Libya now looks like Sam Crenshaw of t.v.'s Today's Special (1982-1987). And if you don't remember T.S., a Canadian children's show that aired on Nickelodeon, shame on you!
Can it be that Qadaffi looks like the security guard puppet on a kids' show? Yes! Look at their eyes, their testicle sac noses, and their complexions. Ahhhh, if only puppet Sam had black wiry hair.