The obvious choice for last week's clue is Winona Ryder (not Alec Baldwin), but the notorious five-fingered femme WOULD NOT eat the Sun Chips while grocery shopping before hiding the bag behind
Enquirer magazines at the checkout. The reason: Ms. Ryder is one of these "Green" Hollywood celebs; out of her respect for this eco-friendly company who makes their product in California using solar energy she would pay for the bag. As for a bag of Cheetos, the jury is stil out on that one. It is Alec Baldwin who would be the offender! His fear of being lumped into the same category as a pregnant woman for munching in the supermarket would force him to hide the empty bag; however, his guilty conscience would force him to give the checker a five-dollar tip.
For this week's question, I turn to the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing and two of China's greatest men, Bao Xishun and He Pingping. Xishun, China's tallest man, and Pingping, China's shortest man, are a VERY adorable couple for obvious reasons, yet I ask, Which of these two oddities is more likely to engage in the fetish of staking out the women's section of a Chinese department store and waiting for a woman to select a pair of jeans or shorts, try them on in a dressing room, and return them to their rightful place due to their dissatisfaction with the fit, at which time the voyeur bides his time before picking up the garment and nonchalantly sniffing its crotch for a feminine odor?
* I hate to admit it, but Mr. Oriole himself, Cal Ripken, is looking more and more like the face of Darth Vader with each passing day. Those of you REAL Star Wars fans know that the humpty-dumpty-looking face of the maskless Vader was that of British actor Sebastian Shaw (God rest his soul!), not David Prowse, the man INSIDE THE SUIT. Hey Cal, if you gain any more wait, you're gonna start looking like John Waters' muse, Divine.
* Before his film career as a bumbling, white-haired lieutenant, this Canadian-born actor was very young and very hot on the silver screen, taking a trip to a forbidden planet! Next he'll star in Slap Shot 3: The Junior League. Hell, I didn't even know there was a Slap Shot 2!
* Their similar hair, noses and eyes makes me wonder if actor Eric Bogosian was indeed Slim Goodbody, sporting that spandex outfit back in the '80s. Goodbody, who was created and performed by John Burstein, is still at it in the 21st century, continuing to don that flesh-colored body suit. For more info on Slim, visit http://www.slimgoodbody.com/. 
* The "Very Young, Very Hot" actress from last week's clue who still maintains her sexiness is none other than Italy's own Sofia Villani Scicolone, known to film audiences as Sofia Loren. The star of El Cid and Pret-a-Porter will turn sexy 74 this September 20th.
* After approximately a year and a half of WAITING, the Sirius-XM merger has been approved! Though I'm ecstatic over the news, the victory is bittersweet for this Sirius subscriber who pays his $13.86 a month and who has been holding out for more diverse satellite programming. Though I'm a registered Republican, I tend to vote for the Dems, but this Sirius-XM union makes me want to vote for McCain this Novemeber. After all, the two people on the FCC who voted against this deal were Democrats Jonathan Adelstein and Michael Copps. Thank god the three Republicans (Kevin Martin, Robert McDowell and Deborah Taylor Tate) had the common sense to not see this merger as a monopoly. I say, "Give me Oprah and MLB along with the Howard Stern and NFL that I already pay for!"
