Ledecky will shout. "Where are you going? Where's it going?" she will ask her mother, Mary Gen Ledecky. But not even Mother Mary herself will come to Katie. Yes, you know the rest.
So where is that Brinks truck going? To Gabby Douglas's, that's where. You see, Ledecky has age on her side--or a lack thereof--but what she has in age, she lacks (surprisingly) in a hairline. And ain't no one wanna see a girl on no Wheaties box or in no Subway commercial with hair like dat!
Above: Ledecky and her endorsement-costing hairline.
Meanwhile, Olympic gymnastics gold medalist Douglas, who is one year Ledecky's senior, already has racked up a deal with Kellogg's, gracing a box of Corn Flakes and getting ready to take part in "Kellogg's Tour of Gymnastics Champions," a 40-city tour. YAWWWWWWN. Yeah, that last part sounds pretty lame, but Douglas is expected to net around $10 million between now and Rio's 2016 Games due to her million-dollar smile and normal hairline.
Above: All that glitters is not gold, it's Gabby.
True, you will see Ledecky again after these London Games, but it probably won't be for another four years, for there will be no endorsements, no talk show appearances, not even a guest role on a Nick Jr. or Disney Channel show. "What about a movie of the week?" you ask. To that I reply, "Who'll play her, former SNL comedienne Kristen Wiig as she looked in those Lawrence Welk sketches?"
Above: Wiig in an SNL skit looking much like Ledecky, not including the doll hands.
