McCain Fails to Wear Blackface at NAACP Convention

Presidential nominee John McCain spoke before the NAACP today, but the rumors that he would don blackface makeup went unsubstantiated when the Ohio crowd at the historic organization's 99th anuual convention saw nothing but white skin and liver spots. As is usually the case, a disapproving frown (pictured below) often blanketed the Republican nominee's countenance many times throughout the duration of the speech.

* McCain gives his trademark look of disapproval.

According to a member of Barack Obama's camp, McCain was toying with the idea of wearing blackface to try and "endear" himself to the African-American voters who perceive the 71-year-old as "old" and "curmudgeonly." Jill Lewis, one of the Democratic nominee's public relations assistants, said, "We heard from a reputable source that this was supposed to happen; apparently, we were wrong."

However, while team Obama is stewing over McCain's decision to nix the stunt, Republicans are describing the accusation as pure nonsense. Senator Tom Coburn of Ohio (R) called the claim an "obvious attempt to sully McCain's character." Similarly, fellow Republican senator John Warner (Virginia) characterized the Obama camp's accusation as a mere story: "I don't know what kind of jungle juice the Democrats are drinking, but it has to be something that's helping create some wild fiction."
* Ted Danson wore blackface (ala Al Jolson) at a Friars' Club roast for his then-girlfriend Whoopi Goldberg; the stunt led to the former Cheers star being dubbed a racist.

A VERY YOUNG, VERY HOT . . . (7/7 - 7/12)

* Last week's "Very Young, Very Hot" celeb was Audrey Hepburn's co-star in Breakfast at Tiffany's; he also led the pack as Hannibal on television's A-Team. Still haven't guessed it? Well, he was George Peppard, God rest his soul!
As for this week's clue, he, before passing away, was a daytime television star. Many years before he made it big in a neighborhood that was HIS, this man, as evidenced by the picture above, was young and hot.

This Week's Separated At Birth (7/7 - 7/13)

* If it were possible for a woman to give birth to a puppet, Madame, the ubiquitous presence of '70's and '80's television, would be the inanimate child of Broadway legend Carol Channing. Then again, some sort of a creature would have to copulate with Ms. Channing for such a birth to occur.

Famous Vietnam Vet Curses Reporter For "Stupid" Question

Vietnam vet Ron Kovic, who took his Purple Heart and parlayed his paralysis into a bestselling book and Academy Award-winning film, Born on the Fourth of July, which starred Tom Cruise, expects EVERYONE to know his birthday. So when a reporter, last week, asked the anti-war activist what he would be doing on the 4th, Kovic reportedly replied, "What the hell d'ya think I'll be doing?"

As the South Carolina-based Post and Courier journalist, Fryderyk Wysoki, simply stared at Kovic, who was in Charleston for an anti-war rally, the veteran, according to Wysoki, became increasingly more irate, shouting, "Just what the f-ck d'ya think I'll be doing? Don't you know who the f-ck I am? And you call yourself a f-cking journalist?" before wheeling by the dumbfounded reporter as he muttered numerous parting expletives.

* Reporter Fryderyk Wysoki kneeling before Kovic, moments before the Vietnam vet verbally assaulted the journalist for his lack of knowledge.

What Kovic didn't know, however, is that Wysoki, a Polish reporter who has been with South Carolina's Courier and Times as part of a culture-sharing program with Poland's Gazeta Polska (Polish Gazette), is in the United States to learn about people like Ron Kovic.

On this 4th of July, regardless of his treatment of a foreign reporter, let us not forget Mr. Kovic's beautifully written prose, a true reminder of the sacrifices offered by our nation's brave men and women: "I am the living death, the Memorial Day on wheels. I am your Yankee Doodle Dandy, your John Wayne come home, your Fourth of July firecracker exploding in the grave."

Isn't everyone's entitled to having a bad day every now and then? In fact, perhaps, at this moment, a Polish war veteran is cursing out an American reporter.

This Week's Separated At Birth (6/31 - 7/6)

* Was once-Hollywood hottie Rory Calhoun, the star of television's The Texan (1959 -60), the REAL father of George Clooney? True, Clooney's father, Nick, (below) does appear to have offered his sperm to the concotion that created Hollywood's golden boy, but Calhoun's eyes, as well as his success as an actor, producer and writer, prove him to be a worthy sire.

A VERY YOUNG, VERY HOT . . . (6/30 - 7/6)

Why don't the folks at People do a Sexiest Man Dead issue? Speaking of the dead, this man, who was once very young and hot, was a television star in the 70s and 80s, but well before then, he had brunch--or was it breakfast?--with Audrey Hepburn, who herself was very young and hot. Got rest both of their sexy souls!
By the way, last week's "very young, very hot" clue was none other than Steve Martin.

This Week's Separated At Birth (6/23 - 6/29)

* John McCain, the man who changed the Beach Boys' tune "Barbara Ann" to "Bomb Iran," is looking more and more like a Beach Boy himself, especially when he dons a ballcap. Rumor has it that the Republican presidential nominee may rework "Help Me, Rhonda" into "Trounce Obama" for his campaign's battle cry.