This Week's Separated At Birth (8/11 - 8/17)

* Their similar hair, noses and eyes makes me wonder if actor Eric Bogosian was indeed Slim Goodbody, sporting that spandex outfit back in the '80s. Goodbody, who was created and performed by John Burstein, is still at it in the 21st century, continuing to don that flesh-colored body suit. For more info on Slim, visit http://www.slimgoodbody.com/.

WHO IS MORE LIKELY . . . ? (8/11 - 8/17)

The obvious choice for last week's clue is Winona Ryder (not Alec Baldwin), but the notorious five-fingered femme WOULD NOT eat the Sun Chips while grocery shopping before hiding the bag behind Enquirer magazines at the checkout. The reason: Ms. Ryder is one of these "Green" Hollywood celebs; out of her respect for this eco-friendly company who makes their product in California using solar energy she would pay for the bag. As for a bag of Cheetos, the jury is stil out on that one. It is Alec Baldwin who would be the offender! His fear of being lumped into the same category as a pregnant woman for munching in the supermarket would force him to hide the empty bag; however, his guilty conscience would force him to give the checker a five-dollar tip.

For this week's question, I turn to the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing and two of China's greatest men, Bao Xishun and He Pingping. Xishun, China's tallest man, and Pingping, China's shortest man, are a VERY adorable couple for obvious reasons, yet I ask, Which of these two oddities is more likely to engage in the fetish of staking out the women's section of a Chinese department store and waiting for a woman to select a pair of jeans or shorts, try them on in a dressing room, and return them to their rightful place due to their dissatisfaction with the fit, at which time the voyeur bides his time before picking up the garment and nonchalantly sniffing its crotch for a feminine odor?

A VERY YOUNG, VERY HOT . . . (8/11 - 8/17)

* The "Very Young, Very Hot" actress from last week's clue who still maintains her sexiness is none other than Italy's own Sofia Villani Scicolone, known to film audiences as Sofia Loren. The star of El Cid and Pret-a-Porter will turn sexy 74 this September 20th.

Moving onto this week's celeb, I found a snapshot of him in all his youthful sexiness. Incidentally, I had the pleasure of urinating next to this actor several years before his death. I can still remember me and him standing side by side, he with a pipe perched in his mouth as actor Griffin Dunne came behind him and jokingly asked, "(Actor's name deleted for obvious reasons), is that marijuana in your pipe?" Anyway, this star of the stage and screen lived a very long life and was once very sexy in a doting daddy way.

BACKLOG: What Irritates Mr. Erzblock This Week (8/4 - 8/10)

* After approximately a year and a half of WAITING, the Sirius-XM merger has been approved! Though I'm ecstatic over the news, the victory is bittersweet for this Sirius subscriber who pays his $13.86 a month and who has been holding out for more diverse satellite programming. Though I'm a registered Republican, I tend to vote for the Dems, but this Sirius-XM union makes me want to vote for McCain this Novemeber. After all, the two people on the FCC who voted against this deal were Democrats Jonathan Adelstein and Michael Copps. Thank god the three Republicans (Kevin Martin, Robert McDowell and Deborah Taylor Tate) had the common sense to not see this merger as a monopoly. I say, "Give me Oprah and MLB along with the Howard Stern and NFL that I already pay for!"

A VERY YOUNG, VERY HOT . . . (8/4 - 8/10)

* The "Very Young, Very Hot" actor who was last week's clue is now a 78-year-old man, but there's no doubt about it that he was HOT back in the day. Even though his gunslinging days are in the past, Clinton Eastwood, Jr.'s performances in the Sergio Leone "Spaghetti Westerns" will be with us forever!

For this week's clue we have a female, which I'm sure you've already gathered from the risque photo above. This actress, both then and now, could put the marinara on my spaghetti any day.

WHO IS MORE LIKELY . . . ? (8/4 - 8/10)

The answer to the Jan Michael Vincent question from a few weeks ago is . . . DRUMROLL . . . the 1980s Jan Michael of Airwolf fame, and here's why: the Jan Michael who lives among us today is a sad alcoholic who ain't got a pot to piss in, which is why he wouldn't be able to afford the luxury of a Stella Artois 6-pack. 21st-century Jan is more likely to drink rubbing alcoholc (ala Kitty Dukakis) or Old Milwaukee, not a premium Belgian brew. On the other hand, '80s Jan would freely spend his wad of Benjamins on libations, but he'd keep his beer to himself at a backyard barbecue because he CAN . . . he's Mr. AIRWOLF.

As for this week's question, who is more likely to open up a bag of Sun Chips and munch on 3/4 of the bag while shopping for groceries before reaching the checkout and hiding the crumpled, nearly depleted bag behind a National Enquirer? A.) Winona "Been Caught Stealing" Rider

B.) Alec "Never Been Caught Stealing" Baldwin

This Week's Separated At Birth (8/4 - 8/10)

* Years before John Denver went LEAVING ON A JET PLANE when he died in a plane crash on October 12, 1997, he was a moptopped folk singer who looked eerily similar to tennis legend Martina Navratilova.