A VERY YOUNG, VERY HOT . . . (1/12 - 1/18)

Last week's HOT! HOT HOT! celeb was none other than Willard Scott, best known for his work on NBC's Today as that guy who gives props to superannuated people thanks to the fine people at Smuckers.

For this week's clue I have selected a person who TRULY became larger than life in his older years, known to billions of people. However, back in the day he was "Very Young" and "Very Hot"! Can you name this man who ascended to the pearly gates in 2005?

This Week's Separated At Birth (1/12 - 1/18)

If you truly remember the '70s and all that it had to offer, you most likely recall Phantom of the Paradise, a film written and directed by Brian De Palma. Combining an ace director with a score from pint-sized Paul Williams of "We've Only Just Begun" fame and an opening narration from Mr. Rod Serling makes this film an indelible guilty pleasure.

And doesn't Mrs. Brady, Florence Henderson, look like the film's main character, the Phantom? Oh how similar their eyes and beaks are!!! I must thank my friend and colleague, John Reeves, for this week's selection. Well done, good man!

You Guess It (1/5 - 1/11)

In last week's "You Guess It," Barack Obama said neither A, B nor C, so the answer is D: "None of the above." In fact, President-Elect Obama was telling the soon-to-be V.P. about the meal he and his wife had the night before at Washington, D.C.'s Acadiana restaurant, a Southern Louisiana-style eatery.

So let's get down to the brass tax. With G.W.B.'s days in the White House numbered, I figured I'd feature him before it's too late (Then again, with Dubbya, is it ever too late?).

*What is the man in front of the soon-to-be former U.S. President saying to the Commander in Chief?

A.) Mr. President, people will talk about how that man is standing so close to your backside.
B.) Hold on, Mr. President. My finger seems to have found its way into your zipper.
C.) Don't worry, Mr. President. I can reattach your belt buckle.
D.) Mr. President, you're so tall!

A VERY YOUNG, VERY HOT . . . (1/5 - 1/11)

For those of you who are perplexed by last week's "Very Young, Very Hot" actor, the answer is Mr. Robert Wagner, known as "R.J." to those closest to the actor. Yes, back in the day, well before television's Hart to Hart, Wagner was quite the catch.

This week's edition features a man who has made a career of Weather and Birthdays. If that's not enough of a clue, I don't know what is. Back in the '50s, however, this Virginian was a radio DJ, and he appeared on Barn Party, a children's television show. Back then (as evidenced by the picture above) he was quite young and hot, gap in the teeth and all! Who is he?

This Week's Separated At Birth (1/5 - 1/11)

What the hell has happened to the mother of Sylvester Stallone? Somebody better tell Jackie Stallone that she's getting WACKY with her plastic surgery! Eeee-nuff already! Jeez, she looks like a Michael Myers mask.

Oh well, Sly, I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, now does it, Mr. Cat Eyes?

BACK LOG: What Irritates Mr. Erzblock This Week (12/29 - 1/4)

THANK GOD my lady friend didn't get me a Snuggie for Christmas. I mean really, a blanket WITH SLEEVES??? The last I checked a blanket with sleeves is called a BACKLESS ROBE! The tv ad suggests you even wear one at an outdoor sporting event. You might as well wear a Liberace tuxedo while you're at it or a full mink coat (ala Joe Namath). CAVEAT EMPTOR: Though the people at Snuggie advertise a buy-one-get-one-free deal when you buy one Snuggie for $19.95, you'll have to pay an additional $7.95 for shipping and handling; that's on top of the initial $7.95 you pay to ship the first one! Oh, I forgot, you get a free book light. That makes all the difference.

Chad Pennington's Hair (Episode 1)

Since I don't have much hair myself, I take great delight in those who are still in possession of their lustrous locks, never missing an opportunity at casting jibes their way. Since the Miami Dolphins are playing for their post-season lives today, I turn my attention to their quarterback, Chad Pennington.

* Chad's hair needs to be tamed. The waviness at the side is distracting, not to mention the front, which doesn't know if it wants to be parted or methodically tousled with product. I mean, c'mon Pennington! Do guys still use gel?

A graduate of Marshall and the former QB of the Jets, I've long considered Pennington's locks to resemble a run-of-the-mill Hair Club for Men patient. You be the judge!

* A Hair Club patient before . . .

* . . . and after!