Chad Pennington's Hair (Episode 1)

Since I don't have much hair myself, I take great delight in those who are still in possession of their lustrous locks, never missing an opportunity at casting jibes their way. Since the Miami Dolphins are playing for their post-season lives today, I turn my attention to their quarterback, Chad Pennington.

* Chad's hair needs to be tamed. The waviness at the side is distracting, not to mention the front, which doesn't know if it wants to be parted or methodically tousled with product. I mean, c'mon Pennington! Do guys still use gel?

A graduate of Marshall and the former QB of the Jets, I've long considered Pennington's locks to resemble a run-of-the-mill Hair Club for Men patient. You be the judge!

* A Hair Club patient before . . .

* . . . and after!