All the News That's Fit to Post: The Women in My Family: One Don at a Time

The first time I recognized that one of my relatives looked like a "Don" celebrity came sometime in the 1980s. It was probably my older brother Matt who made the call that my grandmother (my father's mother) looked like Don Knotts. Both myself, Matt, and my twin brother Brian were diehard Three's Company fans, watching the show every day after school when it aired on Fox 5 at 6 p.m. We were most likely at a family function when my brothers and I began calling my grandmother--never to her face--names like "Don Knotts," "Ralph Furley" and "R.F." (That was the name that Jack Tripper called Mr. Furley).

Let it be known that Helen, my dear grandmother who passed away several years ago, didn't resemble Don Knotts in her youth. In fact, she was born Helen Bennett, a beautiful woman of German, English and Scottish ancestry. Rather, her resemblance to Don Knotts came with the passage of time that painted wrinkles on her face and placed luggage beneath her eyes.

* My grandmother resembled Don Knotts, TV's lovable landlord Ralph Furley.

So when did the next Don enter my life? First off, it's my opinion that since God took one Don from my life, he felt the need to replace her with another; that gift from above came on June 30th of this year with the birth of my sister Christine's second child, Ava Christine. When I first cast my gaze on Ava in the hospital, she looked no different than most other newborns; however, as the days passed on by, her tiny little head presented a horse shoe collection of hair. Quite simply, she looked like your run-of-the-mill bald man.

Right around the same time, when Ava was snug in my sister and brother-in-law's home, I noticed something far greater: My new niece's eyes looked strikingly similar to Don Rickles'. "Jeepers Creepers!" I exclaimed to my sister as I held Ava. "Where'd she get these peepers? She looks like Don Rickles!"

* Funny man legend Don Rickles could be mistaken for the father of my niece Ava.

Since the day I dubbed Ava "Baby Don Rickles," my sister and brother Brian have also been using this term of endearment. I'm not sure how my brother-in-law (Ava's father) feels about the whole thing, but I can't imagine he's too thrilled. As for my father, he was irate after learning a few days ago that one of our relatives (a cousin who will go unmentioned), said as she held Ava for the first time, "Oh my Lord. She looks like Don Rickles!" When my father relayed this occurence to me, he was infuriated. In fact, his exact words were something like "What gives her the right. Don Rickles? She's crazy. Wacko. Nut job . . . . " He muttered other choice words under his breath about this particular relative, but I couldn't make them out. My sister and I don't have the heart to tell my father who else is calling his darling granddaughter "Don Rickles."

* My father, a proud, defensive grandfather who won't stand anyone talking smack about his little girls.

Who knows which distinguished Don will be thrust upon my family in the future. Unfortunately, I will most likely not be on this blessed earth when God graces my family with another Don. However, if I have any say in it, I'd like to cast an early vote for Don Adams.