THIS WEEK'S SEPARATED AT BIRTH (9/21/09 - 9/27/09)

This just in: When the t.v. movie of Dr. Oz's downward spiral into hell is made, complete with cocaine binges, tranny prostitute orgies, and tri-weekly bus trips to Pocono casinos, DON SWAYZE will play the DOC! Yes, Patrick's recently bereft bro has the same chinny chin chin, nose and eyes as "The Great Oz." Sure, he's a little craggier and haggard than Oprah's guru, but it ain't nothing a little putty can't fix.

One Hollywood insider reports that the project hasn't been greenlighted yet, for Don Swayze is still in the process of sabotaging Oz's life so that he will eventually be led down a road of cocaine binges, tranny prostitute orgies, and tri-weekly bus trips to Pocono casinos. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz who met her three friends on the yellow brick road, Swayze's plan for the project will have Dr. Oz travel (on foot) from point A to point B, meeting a teenage cocaine dealer, a middle-aged tranny prostitute, and a WWII veteran casino bus driver along the way.

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze (August 18, 1952 - September 14, 2009)

Who can forget Patrick Swayze's famous declaration as Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner!" While it may be true that NO ONE put Baby in the corner in that 1987 film, when the world bellowed, "Nobody puts Swayze in the coffin!" it fell on God's deaf ears.

People magazine's SEXIEST MAN ALIVE from 18 years ago (Has it been that long?) has passed away after a lengthy bout with pancreatic cancer. Loved by the ladies for his roles in Dirty Dancing and Ghost and by the guys for Red Dawn, Road House and Point Break, Patrick Wayne Swayze even made his mark as an icon in niche markets: the gays gobbled him up as the indelible drag queen Vida Boheme in To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar while the Emo youth were introduced to him in the cult classic Donnie Darko as Jim Cunningham.

Swayze leaves behind his wife of 24 years, Lisa Niemi, two sisters, and two brothers, one of whom is actor Don Swayze. For all things Don Swayze, check out http://www.donswayze.com/.

* Don Swayze with older brother Patrick