I irritate myself this week. I had some friends over to mine and my lady friend's place the other night. I saw my Cousin Jeffrey at the local luncheonette on my work break earlier that day as he was noshing on a couple of Twinkies and drinking a Yoo-hoo by himself, so I invited him over too; however, since you're my lady friend's mortal enemy if you come to our place empty handed, I asked that he bring a 12-pack of light beer. I even gave him some money to buy it. Since his mom passed on a few months ago, money's been tight with him. I said, "It doesn't matter what kind of light beer it is. Just make sure it's light and that there are 12 of them, okay?" He nodded a bunch of times, and I even told him to give me a holler if he forgot what I told him. Needless to say, Jeffrey showed up 45 minutes late that night, interrupting a perfectly good game of cribbage, but I was glad that at least he had the goods when I saw him toting a large plastic bag. He rushed over to my kitchen table, and I patted him on the back. I reached into the bag and pulled out a 12-pack, but it was Guinness, the complete opposite of a light beer. After yelling at Jeffrey, calling him a few choice words, he tearfully replied, "Reid, I picked up a bunch of 12-packs. I did. Honest. That was the lightest one!" God bless Jeffrey and his knack for taking what I say literally. I apologize, cuz. It was I who was at fault. I'll take you to IHOP this weekend. Why I am even writing a message to him. He doesn't use the Internet. Well, I'll give him a call.
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