All the News That's Fit to Post: Burger King Crowned By Kids

A couple of Massachusetts school children assaulted Burger King's mascot last Tuesday during a lunch time visit to a local chain on their way home from a field trip. Unfortunately for Burger King, this occured only a little more than a week after the fast food chain embarked on a campaign that will send hundreds of their masked mascots to their restaurants across the U.S. to make appearances, posing with children for photos and blowing up crown-shaped balloons.

The BK location in Plymouth, where 9 special needs students from W.E.B. Du Bois Elementary School were playing in the "King's Playpalace" outside of the dining area, was being visited by one of many regal mascots who set out on the nationwide meet and greet. Around 1:30 p.m., shortly after the students and their two teachers had dined indoors, the Burger King himself entered the play area, waving his two hands as he approached the rambunctious children.

* Burger King's Plymouth, MA location, the site where a deaf girl and an autistic boy injured a Burger King.

One of the teachers, Melinda Grossman, recalled, "We would've preferred he [the Burger King] didn't show up. Our kids have special needs, and some are unpredictable with strangers." According to Grossman, however, the children aren't always the party at fault. On this day, the mascot unknowingly formed a sexually suggestive message via sign language. "One of our students who is deaf felt threatened by the gesture. It was blatantly sexual, so she kicked in the guy's knee and ran inside, locking herself in the restroom." Another student, an autistic boy, coped with the situation by applying a bear hug to the costumed man's mid-section. "The guy was screaming inside his mask; I told him to calm down."

* Grossman, a teacher at W.E.B. Du Bois for 13 years, pictured with two of her special needs students.

The man inside the costume, Eric Heidler, a 20-year-old San Diego State University drama student who arranged a semester-long sabattical for this Burger King gig, removed the plastic mask soon after he was grabbed by the 11-year-old boy. "I was out of breath," explained Heidler, who is now back home at his parents' house in Carmel, California. "I took off the mask, and I thought I dropped it. Honestly, I was dizzy. The kid had a strong hold on me, but I didn't hit him."

* The Burger King himself, Eric Heidler, at home in the comfort of his parents' arms, denies assaulting a young boy with his mask.

As for the opinion of Grossman, Heidler's actions could cost the Burger King corporation a king's ransom. "He brought down the mask on my student's face, chipping his front tooth. That doesn't happen by simply dropping the mask. He knows what really happened. An apology would be nice."

All calls to Burger King's corporate headquarters in Miami, Florida for a comment on the alleged assault have gone unanswered. John Chidsey, however, Burger King's CEO, released a terse statement on Friday, stating, "We at Burger King will vigilantly investigate what happened in Plymouth. Even though Mr. Heidler, an employee of ours, was released by the authorities and charged with no crime, we have still contacted the local authorities to gather any information they have on record. As always, Burger King will do what is in its customers' best interest. We live by our motto: Have It Your Way."

* The boyish Burger King cartoon from the 1970s, clean-shaven and innocent.

* Burger King altered their mascot's appearance in the '80s, making him appear more like a super hero, when they decided that he'd possess the power of magical hands.